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Jiayi (they/them)
carabinerr@proton.me
to neocities

Happy labor day

Today is the 1st of May, happy international workers day! Workers around the world, from the past, workers of the future, children of workers, workers of grit and oddness and hard physical labor and all that in between, happy mayday. Truly.

Like everybody else racing against the bullet of capitalistic hell, the deep despair I feel towards a possibility of being chained to a job that drains the life out of me weighed against the possibility of drowning in a life of uncertainty and worry creeps closer to me the older I get and especially the closer I get to my graduation (some month and a half away).

School has in some sense been a way for me to step out of the game. Or rather prolong the time in which I have to directly deal with the reality. In fact the past three years, I've been so focused on passing my courses, nodding my head at professors and handing in assignments, completely indulging myself in the identity of a student, that I have come out the other end a blank piece of paper. A paper that can't get hired anywhere because I am exactly that, blank. University as an institution was grounded in knowledge and great ideas has formed within it's walls with freedom of research. But now university as an institution is so deeply connected with the enterprises that pump money into them, which forms the curriculum and invests in you personally, to become their tiny soldiers with big weapons, and any other way around lands you in a dumpster. Computer science hell. STEM hell.

I've been so anxious about it, really. About getting a job, getting a house, getting a.. etc etc. But I find that, at the end of this nightmare, I feel relieved. Excited even. I can finally graduate and do whatever the heck I want with my life. There is much much more to life than I've ever thought before. In fact, life is beautiful. I am just steps away from diving into it. Let me be a queer, artist, coder, wanna-learn hacktivist, compiler interested, food conneseur (however you spell it), reader, amateur writer, the best lover ever, the best sibling ever that sits in cafés and in grass and plans and plans and plans and is happy.

Let my mom be happy, let my dad be happy. And god let my brother be happy.

Today is a day to remind us of, and honor, the workers that has put so much of their lives in the front and in the back for a brighter world for it's children. Demand higher pay, demand time off, join a union, talk about your rights, or what should be your rights. Life is beautiful and worth too much not to. Happy may day.